The loss of someone you love is not just measured by a blood or marriage relationship you shared. It is also measured by the closeness of a relationship, which then includes
in-laws, friends and yes, even pets. How we grieve for these relationships is very personal. The experts say there is a process, notably denial, numbness, anger, depression and finally acceptance. However, the time it takes for each of us to reach and work through these steps is totally at our own pace – sometimes consciously, sometimes unconsciously. It is not for anyone else to comment on how or when we should move from one to the other or whether the time has come to “get over it” or “move on with your life”.

As a society, we are shifting from days upon days of mourning, to holding a celebration of life – such a lovely tribute to a person who has touched our lives. We fill our homes with flowers, always good for the soul, and turn to others for comfort. We talk about this person (or pet), reliving their impact on the world around them, and eventually the sadness gives way to memories that can make us smile. In fact, the very same memories that are just too painful to think about when the loss is new, are the same ones that help keep our loved ones alive in our hearts for the rest of our lives. Other people acknowledge our loss with sympathy cards and sympathy flowers – again helping us through our difficult time.

There really aren’t many rules concerning what is appropriate and what isn’t anymore. Three days of visiting at a funeral home is often replaced with a memorial service lasting an hour. We rarely wear only black. Often we lean toward a colour we know was a favourite of our loved one. Flowers being sent to a funeral are not always done in pastel colours or certain styles. A popular choice is to send a beautiful, bright coloured arrangement in a vase. These are suitable for the family to take home, give to others attending the funeral or passing on to a hospital. This practice appeals to those who don’t like the idea of a floral tribute being left at the graveside when it can bring so much happiness into another person’s day.

So the basic rule practiced today is to make sure whatever you choose, is a fitting tribute to the life you are honouring, and always, always include flowers as a part of that tribute. Like a touching eulogy, beautiful flowers put the finishing touch on saying “Good-Bye”.

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